Monday, October 10, 2011
I want my mom
So it's been a while. Not that anyone really reads this or cares what's on it, but I'm going to fill you in on the past few months. Mom passed away on March 14th and that pretty much ate my life for a long time. It still does, but I've learned to manage it. There have been some bright spots tucked in here and there so I didn't go completely insane. Par example: I got engaged to a wonderful man who has pretty much witnessed everything and still loves me. Laughing quietly to myself, I think about how he was right there the whole time and it took me that long to realize it.
In other news I've met my birth mother, my little half siblings, and discovered an entire new family that I didn't know I had. Words are hard to come by to describe their complete acceptance and fulness of love. They are truly wonderful people and a great blessing in my life...especially now.
I adore my husband. There's little else to describe exactly how quintessential a force he is in my life. So when we fight (everyone does on occasion) I let it hurt a little more than it should. The thing is, he has this wonderful, terrible habit of making too much sense. Sometimes he makes me doubt myself. That said, doubting is not always a bad thing. It's how we examine ourselves and correct what needs correcting. However, now is not the time to doubt myself. I'm planning two weddings (distance is a bit of an issue with our families as they are unable to travel), trying to work things out with my education, and trying to deal with the loss of my mom pretty much by myself because he has to stay in another state at his military base where he's stationed. Sometimes I want to say "Can't you be pissed with me at a more reasonable time, you insensitive dolt?!" Don't know...maybe that's what he wants. Maybe he just wants a reaction so he can know what I'm feeling. It takes some pressure for me to show what is really going on with me.
Current issue with him is, he misses me. He hates that I have to be gone for a while. He's irritated that I want a big wedding with the whole family (which has already had it's dramatic tidbits that haven't helped) and calls it impractical. He doesn't like the idea of getting pictures taken. He questions if doing all this will help us at all in the long run and whether I'll ever be truly satisfied...I understand. I miss him, too. Sometimes it feels as though I should just drop the whole thing and resign myself to being satisfied without a family wedding. But when I think about giving it all up, the tears come back with a vengeance (when I thought I didn't have any left). And now I just feel more lonely than ever. I don't know who to ask for help anymore, and now my own husband is telling me to give it up.
Maybe I should.
Oh help.
In other news I've met my birth mother, my little half siblings, and discovered an entire new family that I didn't know I had. Words are hard to come by to describe their complete acceptance and fulness of love. They are truly wonderful people and a great blessing in my life...especially now.
I adore my husband. There's little else to describe exactly how quintessential a force he is in my life. So when we fight (everyone does on occasion) I let it hurt a little more than it should. The thing is, he has this wonderful, terrible habit of making too much sense. Sometimes he makes me doubt myself. That said, doubting is not always a bad thing. It's how we examine ourselves and correct what needs correcting. However, now is not the time to doubt myself. I'm planning two weddings (distance is a bit of an issue with our families as they are unable to travel), trying to work things out with my education, and trying to deal with the loss of my mom pretty much by myself because he has to stay in another state at his military base where he's stationed. Sometimes I want to say "Can't you be pissed with me at a more reasonable time, you insensitive dolt?!" Don't know...maybe that's what he wants. Maybe he just wants a reaction so he can know what I'm feeling. It takes some pressure for me to show what is really going on with me.
Current issue with him is, he misses me. He hates that I have to be gone for a while. He's irritated that I want a big wedding with the whole family (which has already had it's dramatic tidbits that haven't helped) and calls it impractical. He doesn't like the idea of getting pictures taken. He questions if doing all this will help us at all in the long run and whether I'll ever be truly satisfied...I understand. I miss him, too. Sometimes it feels as though I should just drop the whole thing and resign myself to being satisfied without a family wedding. But when I think about giving it all up, the tears come back with a vengeance (when I thought I didn't have any left). And now I just feel more lonely than ever. I don't know who to ask for help anymore, and now my own husband is telling me to give it up.
Maybe I should.
Oh help.
Monday, February 21, 2011
....
Recently I came pretty close to losing my mom. She hasn't really been my mom for a while for all essential purposes simply because of all the pain she's had to deal with. I get that. I understand. I know that life's not fair. But who ever really thinks they're ready to be without their mom?
Maybe I'm using "I" too much here. But I honestly don't know what to do. How do I prepare for something like this? There are days I don't even want to get out of bed because I'm afraid of what new nasty surprise is waiting for me. That's not me.
So, from here on out, I'm going to try to live life as normally as possible. It's time to be a big kid. No more tears. No more complaints. Sucking it up, smiling, and faking it til I make it.
Maybe I'm using "I" too much here. But I honestly don't know what to do. How do I prepare for something like this? There are days I don't even want to get out of bed because I'm afraid of what new nasty surprise is waiting for me. That's not me.
So, from here on out, I'm going to try to live life as normally as possible. It's time to be a big kid. No more tears. No more complaints. Sucking it up, smiling, and faking it til I make it.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Clock
It was 2AM...I was still awake. Screwdriver in hand and a little old alarm clock in my lap as I sat cross-legged on the floor. This sucker would work if it was the last thing I did. After applying a bit of pressure (very gingerly, mind you) at the edges of the small plastic skeleton, it came apart. The tender, intricate insides bare for me to examine. The wiring was simple enough. Typical 80's LED display with the little boards connected to eachother for the mechanism. And...ah...there was the problem. Four of the little wires connecting the mechanism board to the display board had broken. I split little bits of electrical tape, then gently rapped each wire to its respective half. Carefully folding the boards back together, I put the skeleton back over my work. Praying silently that the wires had stayed together when folded with the tape, I plugged the cord into a socket in my room. It lit up and the buzzer came to life. I checked the buttons: everything worked perfectly. My heart swelled with pride at my small accomplishment. Now I could think about sleeping.....but....there was that lantern in the basement that needed fixing....
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Ashley's Floral Fantacies
Be sure to check out my portfolio blog and see how I'm doing as a floral designer ;-P
Just click on the title of this post and it'll link you right to it! <3
Just click on the title of this post and it'll link you right to it! <3
Monday, May 17, 2010
What I've Been Working On
In case you didn't know, I'm currently studying Floral Design. Part of my schoolwork is to work with real clients as often as possible. My very first happened to be my aunt who wanted to show her full support of my career choice by going out and getting a boatload of silk flowers for me to play with and put around her home!
This one's my favorite!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Valentine's With a New Attitude
If you're anything like me, dear reader, then you probably have a history of seriously disliking Valentine's (aka Singles Awareness) Day. Well, I recently had the opportunity to rethink the meaning of the holiday with the hope that I would avoid a day of wasting my energy being negative.
Firstly, I ditched the image of a fat baby shooting arrows at unsuspecting victims and actually looked up the story of Cupid, or as I'd rather call him "Eros". It's a wonderful tale and I encourage you to look it up for yourself. It actually made me think more about trust and seeing with one's heart rather than one's eyes. I thought about the trust and faith that goes into loving someone else and the importance of those two qualities in any relationship. There can be no true everlasting love where there is no trust.
With that in mind I took it into a different direction and thought about the importance of being honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't truly be honest with anyone else. These collective ideas led me to a rather adventurous sounding conclusion: Use Valentine's to be completely honest with myself and everyone else.
Firstly, I ditched the image of a fat baby shooting arrows at unsuspecting victims and actually looked up the story of Cupid, or as I'd rather call him "Eros". It's a wonderful tale and I encourage you to look it up for yourself. It actually made me think more about trust and seeing with one's heart rather than one's eyes. I thought about the trust and faith that goes into loving someone else and the importance of those two qualities in any relationship. There can be no true everlasting love where there is no trust.
With that in mind I took it into a different direction and thought about the importance of being honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't truly be honest with anyone else. These collective ideas led me to a rather adventurous sounding conclusion: Use Valentine's to be completely honest with myself and everyone else.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Long Stemmed Roses and a Blue Sky
Today was wet, cold and gray. 3 things that most definitely do not suit my personality. Oh what I'd give to see flowers again! I was walking through the store the other day and I happened past the floral section they have. I smelled the roses before I saw them. Oh yes....they were that good. I know, flowers from a grocery store are probably not the highest quality. But I am so starved for something alive and growing! ARGH! I miss springtime.
Tonight, I'm going to make a wish. I wish for some long stemmed roses to brighten up the room until spring gets here and a blue sky for at least part of every day for the rest of winter. I need sunshine!
Tonight, I'm going to make a wish. I wish for some long stemmed roses to brighten up the room until spring gets here and a blue sky for at least part of every day for the rest of winter. I need sunshine!
Monday, January 11, 2010
What Makes a Woman
After that last blog, my fabulous readers demanded that I write what characteristics I think separate the women from the girls. So here we go!
#1-A woman holds herself accountable for her actions- She doesn't blame the world for her problems. She doesn't whine that she was misunderstood or that someone else could have done something for her. She tries hard and doesn't accept less than her best.
#2-A woman does what she can to be accomplished- She's always doing something. She enjoys doing many things and loves to grow and perfect her interests.
#3- A woman is open minded- She takes all things into consideration and does what she knows is best with what information she has.
#4- A woman can speak her mind without sounding preachy- She recognizes that what she has to say is important and that it is best to convey those thoughts in a short-sweet-to-the-point manner.
#5- A woman is compassionate- She is a nurturer. She's the go to lady when you need advice or just to be understood. She has your best interest at heart and genuinely cares about what's going on in your life.
#6- A woman is resourceful- She makes things happen and just has a way of getting exactly what she needs. When she can't get what she needs, she either finds a way or finds a substitute that is equal if not better than what she originally had in mind.
#7- A woman is a fierce friend- She does not hesitate to stand up for those she loves.
#8- A woman is honest- She will tell you exactly what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.
#9- A woman has a sense of honor- She defends what's right and sticks to her guns even when it's not what's in vogue to do so.
#10- A woman loves herself- She knows that she can't truly love anyone unless she is happy with who she is and enjoys being herself.
#11- A woman knows how to have fun- She loves to laugh and make other people smile. She enjoys the best things in life and makes time to play.
#12- A woman places high value on family and expects those with whom she associates to respect that- Self explanatory.
There you have it. I find ladies like this in some pretty interesting places so it's hard to say where you'll spot them. But you'll most definitely know her once you start talking to her.
<3 Ashley
#1-A woman holds herself accountable for her actions- She doesn't blame the world for her problems. She doesn't whine that she was misunderstood or that someone else could have done something for her. She tries hard and doesn't accept less than her best.
#2-A woman does what she can to be accomplished- She's always doing something. She enjoys doing many things and loves to grow and perfect her interests.
#3- A woman is open minded- She takes all things into consideration and does what she knows is best with what information she has.
#4- A woman can speak her mind without sounding preachy- She recognizes that what she has to say is important and that it is best to convey those thoughts in a short-sweet-to-the-point manner.
#5- A woman is compassionate- She is a nurturer. She's the go to lady when you need advice or just to be understood. She has your best interest at heart and genuinely cares about what's going on in your life.
#6- A woman is resourceful- She makes things happen and just has a way of getting exactly what she needs. When she can't get what she needs, she either finds a way or finds a substitute that is equal if not better than what she originally had in mind.
#7- A woman is a fierce friend- She does not hesitate to stand up for those she loves.
#8- A woman is honest- She will tell you exactly what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.
#9- A woman has a sense of honor- She defends what's right and sticks to her guns even when it's not what's in vogue to do so.
#10- A woman loves herself- She knows that she can't truly love anyone unless she is happy with who she is and enjoys being herself.
#11- A woman knows how to have fun- She loves to laugh and make other people smile. She enjoys the best things in life and makes time to play.
#12- A woman places high value on family and expects those with whom she associates to respect that- Self explanatory.
There you have it. I find ladies like this in some pretty interesting places so it's hard to say where you'll spot them. But you'll most definitely know her once you start talking to her.
<3 Ashley
Sunday, January 10, 2010
What Makes a Man
Due to recent events and certain people bugging me about it, today's post is a summary of what I think constitutes a "Man". i.e. certain characteristics that cause me to think of a guy as a man rather than a boy.
For starters, a man acknowledges his own feelings as well as those of others. When he's angry or sad, he doesn't bottle up the negativity for later. He talks to someone about it and takes care of it as it happens.
A man doesn't take himself too seriously. When he screws up or falls over or something, he laughs about it, gets up, dusts himself off and moves on (literally and metaphorically).
A man can speak his mind and do so eloquently. He's not as concerned with being right as he is with what is right.
A man knows when to be spontaneous and when to think things through.
A man places high value on family and expects those he associates with to respect that.
A man likes to be active. He's always doing something and is motivated towards specific goals. He also likes to play ^_^. New things fascinate him.
And last but not least, a man loves life in general. He loves people and wants to see more of the world. Stuck up everybody-elses are a waste of his time and they don't feel comfortable around him. But he's well liked by every one in general.
Now how would I spot such a gentleman? Well it takes some doing.
#1 He cleans up very nicely - He looks great in a suit because he knows what works for him and he takes pride in who and what he is.
#2 He asks questions- He's genuinely interested in things and wants to know more.
#3 He loves to dance- Socializing is fun for him. He likes the atmosphere of a group setting and loves music.
#4 He knows how to relax- Sometimes it's just great to stay home and wear pajama pants. Maybe make breakfast for dinner. I could see myself laying on a beach with him and just talking about anything and everything.
#5 He's well read- He gobbles up books and refers to them often.
#6 He appreciates the arts- Self explanatory if you know me ;-) but his fascination with life and all things beautiful and praiseworthy can manifest itself that way.
#7 He talks animatedly- he really gets into a conversation. He loves sharing ideas and is excited about what he believes in.
That's the basic run down.
Well there you go. Now you know.
Ashley <3
For starters, a man acknowledges his own feelings as well as those of others. When he's angry or sad, he doesn't bottle up the negativity for later. He talks to someone about it and takes care of it as it happens.
A man doesn't take himself too seriously. When he screws up or falls over or something, he laughs about it, gets up, dusts himself off and moves on (literally and metaphorically).
A man can speak his mind and do so eloquently. He's not as concerned with being right as he is with what is right.
A man knows when to be spontaneous and when to think things through.
A man places high value on family and expects those he associates with to respect that.
A man likes to be active. He's always doing something and is motivated towards specific goals. He also likes to play ^_^. New things fascinate him.
And last but not least, a man loves life in general. He loves people and wants to see more of the world. Stuck up everybody-elses are a waste of his time and they don't feel comfortable around him. But he's well liked by every one in general.
Now how would I spot such a gentleman? Well it takes some doing.
#1 He cleans up very nicely - He looks great in a suit because he knows what works for him and he takes pride in who and what he is.
#2 He asks questions- He's genuinely interested in things and wants to know more.
#3 He loves to dance- Socializing is fun for him. He likes the atmosphere of a group setting and loves music.
#4 He knows how to relax- Sometimes it's just great to stay home and wear pajama pants. Maybe make breakfast for dinner. I could see myself laying on a beach with him and just talking about anything and everything.
#5 He's well read- He gobbles up books and refers to them often.
#6 He appreciates the arts- Self explanatory if you know me ;-) but his fascination with life and all things beautiful and praiseworthy can manifest itself that way.
#7 He talks animatedly- he really gets into a conversation. He loves sharing ideas and is excited about what he believes in.
That's the basic run down.
Well there you go. Now you know.
Ashley <3
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Musings of a Disgruntled Girl
I've reached an epiphany of sorts. It can be summed up in three parts:
* PART THE FIRST! - I Don't Like to Be Told What to Do
I went on a date about a month ago with a guy who seemed fairly nice. We got along well so I decided to get to know him better. After two dates, he started to talk about being "exclusive" and implied other future plans. This ticked me off for a few different reasons. He hadn't known me more than two weeks and he already felt comfortable enough to discuss MY future with HIM, we hadn't talked about much else than himself so he basically had no interest in who I am or who I want to be (apparently there's plenty of time to work that all out after the wedding), and then, to top it all off, he suggested I stay in Idaho after I graduate and forget about a career. No one plans my future for me but God, and even He draws a line.
*PART THE SECOND! - Words Are Awesome...But I Need More
I've heard many a boy say some pretty words. Words are great. I respect a man who can speak his mind and do so eloquently. However, I need something more substantial to back them up. I'm absolutely sick to death of boys who can't man up and do what they say what they're going to do.
*PART THE THIRD! - I'm Sweet Not Stupid
I'm not entirely sure what makes some guys believe that I'm gullible when they first meet me...I guess all they see is a cute face and blond hair. But those are exactly the boys I refuse to deal with from now on. I used to use that type a bit and toy with them. Just to blow them off completely, later. Avoiding them in general would probably be wisest not only for my own physical and emotional safety, but for the feeling of a clean conscience in not leading anyone on. Boys like that are stupid for the most part and not worth my time or attention.
Thinking about this in general is somewhat frustrating. But it had to be thought about. Now I have written down and can be done with it. <3
* PART THE FIRST! - I Don't Like to Be Told What to Do
I went on a date about a month ago with a guy who seemed fairly nice. We got along well so I decided to get to know him better. After two dates, he started to talk about being "exclusive" and implied other future plans. This ticked me off for a few different reasons. He hadn't known me more than two weeks and he already felt comfortable enough to discuss MY future with HIM, we hadn't talked about much else than himself so he basically had no interest in who I am or who I want to be (apparently there's plenty of time to work that all out after the wedding), and then, to top it all off, he suggested I stay in Idaho after I graduate and forget about a career. No one plans my future for me but God, and even He draws a line.
*PART THE SECOND! - Words Are Awesome...But I Need More
I've heard many a boy say some pretty words. Words are great. I respect a man who can speak his mind and do so eloquently. However, I need something more substantial to back them up. I'm absolutely sick to death of boys who can't man up and do what they say what they're going to do.
*PART THE THIRD! - I'm Sweet Not Stupid
I'm not entirely sure what makes some guys believe that I'm gullible when they first meet me...I guess all they see is a cute face and blond hair. But those are exactly the boys I refuse to deal with from now on. I used to use that type a bit and toy with them. Just to blow them off completely, later. Avoiding them in general would probably be wisest not only for my own physical and emotional safety, but for the feeling of a clean conscience in not leading anyone on. Boys like that are stupid for the most part and not worth my time or attention.
Thinking about this in general is somewhat frustrating. But it had to be thought about. Now I have written down and can be done with it. <3
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A Lesson in Charm
In a certain recent meeting of my church's single adult ladies auxiliary, a certain lady made a certain comment that struck a sour chord with me: "Let's face it girls, we're never getting married."
This rather nonsensical and compulsive speech was a blatant advertisement of her own bitter and spinsterish mood to all those present. Now how many recognized it for what it was is uncertain as many of the women in our congregation would love nothing more than to be married but are not, thus this discouraged some even further I'm sure.
I think the lady in question was just having a bad day as she'd just turned 35 and had no prospects. Perhaps I'm too bold to suggest what could be her problem?
For starters, the attitude needs some adjusting. A spinster is as a spinster thinks, ya know! What one doesn't have in beauty must be made up for with wit and personality. Energetic love of life and laughter not only makes a person happier, it makes them prettier on the outside too. A higher level of grooming wouldn't hurt either, though.
This girl is no mud fence, no, not at all. But she doesn't ever play up the best features of her face and figure. What's getting up maybe 10 minutes earlier to pamper yourself in the morning? When I feel pretty, I act pretty. And I've noticed the same behavior in the cases of many other girls.
Another good emotional make-better tip comes to mind: Ditch the idea that you absolutely have to get married at a certain age. I don't think God intended life to be a man hunt for matrimony. Don't get me wrong, marriage is an awesome goal to have. But pinning it to an age just isn't fair to you. It leaves almost no room for love or any sort of meeting of the heart with the head.
I suppose the point of this blog is this: When you're feeling unattractive and just can't seem to establish a good relationship with a good person, perhaps it's time you took stock of yourself as a person and changed what you don't like, rather than blaming the world for your problems and spreading gloom where it has no business being spread.
<3 Ashley
This rather nonsensical and compulsive speech was a blatant advertisement of her own bitter and spinsterish mood to all those present. Now how many recognized it for what it was is uncertain as many of the women in our congregation would love nothing more than to be married but are not, thus this discouraged some even further I'm sure.
I think the lady in question was just having a bad day as she'd just turned 35 and had no prospects. Perhaps I'm too bold to suggest what could be her problem?
For starters, the attitude needs some adjusting. A spinster is as a spinster thinks, ya know! What one doesn't have in beauty must be made up for with wit and personality. Energetic love of life and laughter not only makes a person happier, it makes them prettier on the outside too. A higher level of grooming wouldn't hurt either, though.
This girl is no mud fence, no, not at all. But she doesn't ever play up the best features of her face and figure. What's getting up maybe 10 minutes earlier to pamper yourself in the morning? When I feel pretty, I act pretty. And I've noticed the same behavior in the cases of many other girls.
Another good emotional make-better tip comes to mind: Ditch the idea that you absolutely have to get married at a certain age. I don't think God intended life to be a man hunt for matrimony. Don't get me wrong, marriage is an awesome goal to have. But pinning it to an age just isn't fair to you. It leaves almost no room for love or any sort of meeting of the heart with the head.
I suppose the point of this blog is this: When you're feeling unattractive and just can't seem to establish a good relationship with a good person, perhaps it's time you took stock of yourself as a person and changed what you don't like, rather than blaming the world for your problems and spreading gloom where it has no business being spread.
<3 Ashley
Friday, November 20, 2009
Dear Santa,
Hey there! It's been a while. Well it's that time of the year again and I'm fairly certain you know why I'm writing. So let's cut to the chase. Seeing as I'm considered a "grown up" now, I suppose one would think I should ask for something "sensible". Well, I'm glad you know me better than that. This year I'm going to keep it simple, though. I just want a book. Doesn't matter what book, as long as it's good. If you need ideas, ask Sarah Weiss at the library in Rockwell City. She has a million on a list she wants me to read :-). You could even consult my book list for school.
Just to update you on what I've been up to, I'm currently trying to start up a private piano teaching studio at home for a little extra income. Next semester I'm starting up harp lessons for fun (I've always wanted to learn how to play). And I'm thinking about getting involved in some ballroom dancing type stuff.
Well, I know you're a busy guy this time of year so I'll end my letter with this: Thank you. Thank you for always being one of the best parts of my childhood. You've made everything magical and I can't imagine having the Holiday spirit without you.
Love Always,
Ashley
Just to update you on what I've been up to, I'm currently trying to start up a private piano teaching studio at home for a little extra income. Next semester I'm starting up harp lessons for fun (I've always wanted to learn how to play). And I'm thinking about getting involved in some ballroom dancing type stuff.
Well, I know you're a busy guy this time of year so I'll end my letter with this: Thank you. Thank you for always being one of the best parts of my childhood. You've made everything magical and I can't imagine having the Holiday spirit without you.
Love Always,
Ashley
Eye Twitch
I have recently rediscovered an interesting reflex of mine that kicks in when I'm annoyed by something: My right eye twitches. One situation in which this came to my attention happened as I was strolling through the store to my beloved music section. I was in no hurry because the particular band whose album I'd planned on purchasing was not particularly well known and I had been a fan since their humble beginnings. I was extremely discombobulated when I saw a group of giggling teenyboppers perusing my favorite music store and not in the Pop/Hip-hop aisle at Wal-mart where they belong. The next thing I know, they're skipping off with the last of the usually few albums that I wanted!
What really irked me was the fact that they had only heard one song from a particular movie which I will not name that the band had done for the soundtrack. They Googled it; saw that the lead singer was hot; and thus found where the current album was sold. *Eye twitch*
I used to work in a library before I started art school. Every day, this one lady sat at one of the computers and downloaded songs off the internet until closing. I was closing up one day and she came in, 5 minutes before I was supposed to lock the doors, wanting to use the computer. I politely told her that the computers had already been turned off for the evening and she'd just have to come back the next day. She went nuts on me, saying I was being inconsiderate and she'd get me fired. By this time, I was tired, hungry, and thoroughly ticked off at the fact that I'd worked double hours without thinking to bring my lunch. It took all the composure I had to look her in the eye, ask her if she was finished, and told her that I was locking up now and if she did not leave I had the right to call the authorities. But what really got her was the *EYE TWITCH*. I knew it because she was startled the second it kicked in. She left in a hurry. The next day she tried to report me to my boss who looked at her incredulously and subsequently blew her off.
What habits or reflexes do you have when you're annoyed?
What really irked me was the fact that they had only heard one song from a particular movie which I will not name that the band had done for the soundtrack. They Googled it; saw that the lead singer was hot; and thus found where the current album was sold. *Eye twitch*
I used to work in a library before I started art school. Every day, this one lady sat at one of the computers and downloaded songs off the internet until closing. I was closing up one day and she came in, 5 minutes before I was supposed to lock the doors, wanting to use the computer. I politely told her that the computers had already been turned off for the evening and she'd just have to come back the next day. She went nuts on me, saying I was being inconsiderate and she'd get me fired. By this time, I was tired, hungry, and thoroughly ticked off at the fact that I'd worked double hours without thinking to bring my lunch. It took all the composure I had to look her in the eye, ask her if she was finished, and told her that I was locking up now and if she did not leave I had the right to call the authorities. But what really got her was the *EYE TWITCH*. I knew it because she was startled the second it kicked in. She left in a hurry. The next day she tried to report me to my boss who looked at her incredulously and subsequently blew her off.
What habits or reflexes do you have when you're annoyed?
Dans mon cite favori
The lights of Salt Lake remind me of a jewelry box. Ribbons of light and sparkling dots cover the valley and part way up the mountains. I could stay awake all night to just stare at them and be inspired by the way they light up the earth but in a way don't even compete with the ceiling of stars. People are always complaining about how the night sky is overpowered by the city lights. I happen to enjoy the blend of the bluish black velvet sky and its silvery stars and the warm gold and red glow from downtown. Then again I've always liked things like that. Perhaps I'm just silly and overly dramatic. But somehow I don't believe that matters. There's something nice about being able to see things this way.
Contemplating Faces
Lately I've been working on my portrait skills. One thing I've noticed is that the easiest faces to recreate are the either the least interesting or the most familiar. Therefore I've made it a personal rule not to draw uninteresting faces and just focus on making the face I'm working with more familiar (I'm hoping that makes sense). One of the first portraits I ever did was of myself. Becoming more familiar with my own face laid the foundation for studying others. I've noticed that my face isn't pretty in a conventional way: rounded structure, large eyes, full lips, slightly upturned nose. It's more whimsical than "hot" and I like it.
I have two subjects that I've been really excited about. One is a very dear friend of mine and the other is her brother. What I like about their features is that they are obviously related, I've never seen siblings look so much like each other, but at the same time they're completely different. So trying to capture the similarities enough to make them look related but keeping the characteristics that make them so definitely unique is difficult.
My friend's face is something of an oval with a tapered chin. She has large, blue eyes framed with well arched brows and a straight sort of British looking nose. Now what I like best about her face is the hardest to draw lol. Her smile is exquisite. Big and sunshiny! Just as a smile should be :) She's kind of an elfish sort. I like it.
Now her brother has the same ovalish face but with more angles (well that's cause he's a boy). His mouth is very serious looking but it makes a very nice smile (I suppose one could say it's dashing?). The nose is the same as his sister's. Now the eyes are where I get stuck. They're just as expressive as my friend's but more mischievous looking. That look of being up to something gets me every time. But it makes me smile when I get it right!
Now here's your challenge, look in a mirror and find the things you like most about your face and leave a comment below!!! :D
I have two subjects that I've been really excited about. One is a very dear friend of mine and the other is her brother. What I like about their features is that they are obviously related, I've never seen siblings look so much like each other, but at the same time they're completely different. So trying to capture the similarities enough to make them look related but keeping the characteristics that make them so definitely unique is difficult.
My friend's face is something of an oval with a tapered chin. She has large, blue eyes framed with well arched brows and a straight sort of British looking nose. Now what I like best about her face is the hardest to draw lol. Her smile is exquisite. Big and sunshiny! Just as a smile should be :) She's kind of an elfish sort. I like it.
Now her brother has the same ovalish face but with more angles (well that's cause he's a boy). His mouth is very serious looking but it makes a very nice smile (I suppose one could say it's dashing?). The nose is the same as his sister's. Now the eyes are where I get stuck. They're just as expressive as my friend's but more mischievous looking. That look of being up to something gets me every time. But it makes me smile when I get it right!
Now here's your challenge, look in a mirror and find the things you like most about your face and leave a comment below!!! :D
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
"Repartee is something you think of 24 hours after you should have said it."~Mark Twain
This post is dedicated to all the moments in which I acted like a doormat. I'm moving into a new frame of mind where it is OK to let people know when I'm not OK, when my feelings are hurt, or when I just don't like them at the moment. I'm not going to go on a tyrannical spree of bridge burning or biting everyone's (anyone who has ever ticked me off in the slightest) head off. But here's my list of repartees that I wish I'd been brave enough to say before (no chronological or any sort of order):
*You think a jean skirt is too dressed up? Well ya better start clicking your heels if you don't like it 'cause you're not in Iowa anymore.
*You don't like my lipstick eh? Well I don't like you or anyone you associate with so I think we're about even.
*Oh really? YOU have the perfect body? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Oooooh! I cower in mock fear of your SENIORITIS! Get over yourself, it's high school. Have fun with that attitude in real life.
*In the words of one of my favorite actresses: You go under water and I'll count to a million.
*Wow....I'm utterly astounded by how stupid you just made yourself look.
*You THINK you like her? You're willing to risk everything you have right now because you THINK you like her?
*You're awfully small minded to be making threats like that.
*As a lady, I don't start fights. But if you start one I will finish it.
*Help you? Sure, I'll help you...right over a cliff!
*Mind? Why would I mind that you tried to take what I wanted most?
*I don't like you, don't even try to talk to me.
*You're standing way too close to me.
There's more, but that actually was enough to make me feel better. Think what you wish :)
*You think a jean skirt is too dressed up? Well ya better start clicking your heels if you don't like it 'cause you're not in Iowa anymore.
*You don't like my lipstick eh? Well I don't like you or anyone you associate with so I think we're about even.
*Oh really? YOU have the perfect body? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Oooooh! I cower in mock fear of your SENIORITIS! Get over yourself, it's high school. Have fun with that attitude in real life.
*In the words of one of my favorite actresses: You go under water and I'll count to a million.
*Wow....I'm utterly astounded by how stupid you just made yourself look.
*You THINK you like her? You're willing to risk everything you have right now because you THINK you like her?
*You're awfully small minded to be making threats like that.
*As a lady, I don't start fights. But if you start one I will finish it.
*Help you? Sure, I'll help you...right over a cliff!
*Mind? Why would I mind that you tried to take what I wanted most?
*I don't like you, don't even try to talk to me.
*You're standing way too close to me.
There's more, but that actually was enough to make me feel better. Think what you wish :)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
My Mum said something that I don't think I'll ever forget the other day.
"They say limabeans are high in iron. Well you know what? So are nails. There are some things that you just don't eat."
Truer words are hard to find. I don't mean to offend those who do enjoy those nasty alien green bean type things. But, ugh....all sorts of limanasty!
"They say limabeans are high in iron. Well you know what? So are nails. There are some things that you just don't eat."
Truer words are hard to find. I don't mean to offend those who do enjoy those nasty alien green bean type things. But, ugh....all sorts of limanasty!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
So hilariously tragic...
Our generation has been given some of the most dangerous tools known to man: digital cameras and the internet. The combination can be lethal to brain cells and the quality of art. To illustrate what I mean: http://www.utahwolfproductions.com/Modeling.html . This is a very sad example of the situation in which someone puts all of their creative energy into an actual production and the product is so low in quality, that the sucktasticness of it has left most viewers dumbfounded. Some may say "They're just using what resources they have, stop being so mean!" But here's my counter remark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sYBqhOEdRQ&feature=PlayList&p=4023EF9CBB6B9B45&index=0 . EIP(c) is a film group of kids about college age that make films with generally the same equipment and resources Utah Wolf (c) uses. Needless to say the difference in the quality of the acting, cinematography, and overall enjoyability is pretty big. What do you think?
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