....

Recently I came pretty close to losing my mom. She hasn't really been my mom for a while for all essential purposes simply because of all the pain she's had to deal with. I get that. I understand. I know that life's not fair. But who ever really thinks they're ready to be without their mom?
Maybe I'm using "I" too much here. But I honestly don't know what to do. How do I prepare for something like this? There are days I don't even want to get out of bed because I'm afraid of what new nasty surprise is waiting for me. That's not me.
So, from here on out, I'm going to try to live life as normally as possible. It's time to be a big kid. No more tears. No more complaints. Sucking it up, smiling, and faking it til I make it.